Same Sex Weddings

Articles / / Same Sex Weddings

Same sex marriage in the United States is one that is causing quite a bit of controversy when on local, state, and federal levels. A matter of fact, many states are not banning same sex weddings stating in their constitutions the definition of marriage as being the union between a man and a woman. The only state that does allow same sex weddings at this time is Massachusetts; however, some do allow commitment ceremonies. Commitment ceremonies will not give you any legal rights as a marriage does for a man and woman but it does give the couple the feeling of permanence and stability in their relationship.

When it comes to commitment ceremonies there are no rules or guidelines set forth for couples, so it can be very hard for couples wishing to show their undying love for the person they have chosen to be their life partner. Because of this, you probably have many questions that need answered which we will try to answer. We will call it a same sex wedding even if that is not the legal term, the couple desiring a wedding can use these words as this is what this ceremony will mean to them.

Who should perform your same sex wedding?

First and foremost this is not a legalized event. You can talk with a judge or a justice of the peace; you may find one that will sanction your commitment ceremony. However, honestly, you can ask anyone you would like to do the honors since they do not have to have a license since your wedding is not considered legal. You can speak with someone at the American Ethical Union and they can guide you in the right direction for finding someone to perform your ceremony.

Religious ceremonies for same sex couples can be found by talking with your own minister or by contacting a Unitarian Universalist, Universal Life, or Metropolitan Community church since they do in fact support same sex partnerships.

What happens during the commitment ceremony?

Since you will not be receiving any type of document to prove your commitment to one another such as a marriage license, the most important thing is to have your ceremony as special and personal as you desire. Usually, the commitment ceremony is just like a traditional wedding ceremony.

Welcome: The person performing your wedding will welcome your guests and tell them they are hear to witness and support your commitment and love that you both share. In some cases, they may say a few words about how you met or other endearing words centered on your relationship.

Vows: Can be anything you desire to express your love. You can choose to write your own separately, write them together, or choose your favorite poem.

Exchanging Rings: Yes, of course you can exchange rings. The majority of gay and lesbian couples today are opting to wear their rings on the right ring finger instead of the left or choosing rings that are not the traditional wedding style rings to express their commitment.

Pledging or Joining Reading: Here is where the person performing your commitment ceremony will ask both of you a series of questions. You can chose to use the ones that are read in a traditional wedding leaving out such words as "husband", "wife", and replace them with "life partner". You can also create your own wording along with the help of the person that will be waiting to hear your "I do's." The idea here is that you are both agreeing to pledge your life to the person you love.

Announcement: You will then hear the words or similar," You may now seal this commitment with a kiss."

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